Obligatory Explanation's and What Not's

I have a lot of ideas for this posting. No, a lot is a fair underestimation. I often try and find the right ways to describe who I am, where I'm going, my goals, my general outlooks and philosophies. And just as often I find it difficult if not impossible to do any justice to those questions with answering. My words become ramblings, my thoughts incoherent. But I shall give it a try...

Despite all the difficulty I may have in describing myself, there really isn't a whole lot that forms my being. Or rather, there isn't a lot that ever sticks around. My views are as ever-changing now as they've ever been. I identify myself, in political terms, as being nearer conservative. Though I share a heavy disdain towards politics. It scratches away at my sanity, yet I find my attention constantly aroused by it. So tolerate it, I do. I do feel myself to be more-so conservative in the European sense. I've known for many years that I've often thought in more Eurocentric ways, than American ones, and I guess it's no different today.

I'm an animal-lover, a total softie, a lyricist (I could say poet, but everything I ever end up writing takes on a more lyrical format than anything else), a dreamer and a pessimist/realist, an atheist. I've got trouble forming goals. I feel as if I lack work ethic, though once I get going, it's hard to stop myself. And I'm in love with the most amazing girl who hasn't lost a single fiber of what has always captivated me for all these years I've known her. Hell, I love her more now than I have ever before. I had to throw this last bit in, just to give myself at least some outlet to express it.

I've used this blog name ("In Search of the Sun") with a previous attempt that failed. I still find the name meaningful and is why I find myself resurrecting it in a sense. For many years, I've felt myself on a journey (I suppose we all have). I've always imagined this new horizon somewhere in the distance. My soul and my mind has ached for it. That hill that it rises it over, the stream that it warms and that tree that provides shade and shelter. It's always been in my dreams. Whatever those metaphors is to symbolize, I have yet to find. So my search goes on. But I feel like I'm closer than ever to realizing it.

I wrote a short lyric a few years back that (like so many others) used this theme and ended with:

I want to reach the sun
... But I just don't have the strength

That was definitely the pessimist talking. But on my good days, I do feel I have the strength. But moreso, like I must have the strength. I need to hold my head high and keep my eyes ahead. No matter how much the world tries to knock me down. I find motivation to be so difficult at times, but eventually it kicks in.

Well that's enough rambling from me for one day.

Here's to the night. Bring on the day.